Museum of Morgan – Crack Rock

Navigating The Music Video Landscape
Video: “Crack Rock”
Artist: The Dogs
Year: 1990

Remember music videos? A now long lost art form thanks to MTV2 programming such as “Jersey Shore,” “16 & Pregnant” and “Teen Mom.” Now – we slink away into the internet searching for our fix. On YouTube lies all of the nostalgia that comes with lip syncing and staring directly into the camera (or away for dramatic effect.) I just so happen to love the bad ones.

Oh 1990. Why don’t you quit playin’. I know what many of you may be thinking after just 25 seconds of this magical cinematic masterpiece. “This must be some sort of parody song. How can you rant comedically on a parody song?” Well hold tight, there beloved reader. This happens to be … an ACTUAL SONG. No parody about it. A bizarre and disturbing song complete with message and all! But this isn’t “Navigating The Song” landscape, this is “Navigating The Music Video Landscape.” So let’s focus on the matter at hand. The. Awful. Video. It is the single most terrifying memory one could have of their childhood: Being surrounded by children who point and laugh at you.

It’s kind of like having four kids pin you into a corner and shout “You shit your pants!” but you stand your ground and proclaim “I DID NOT! I WOULD NEVER!” only to realize that you had in fact pooped your Bugle Boy’s. Now take all of those emotions and throw in the words “Yo momma!” How does that feel? Yikes, right? The rest of the video consists of shadowy imagery of a young woman stranded on the streets facing dealers, pimps and johns. There’s nothing funny about a young woman getting her hair yanked on as a threat via some hoodlum. Nothing funny about that at all. What does happen to be funny, is that there are members of the hip hop group who perform this hard boiled inner city, tale always watching like peeping toms and giving rhyming commentary. So the thought process is: “Oh shit! This poor lady is gonna get taken advantage of! I had better call the police …

What’s that? Is it a hot and fresh beat?

Maybe I should just bust some rhymes about what I am seeing and not save this poor unfortunate soul! I’m glad I came to this decision. Good for me.” I’ll leave you with this, the matter at hand is the stuff of serious drama. Maybe a “Law & Order: SVU” or “Precious: Based On The Novel Push By Sapphire.” But not a music video.   Especially not a music video that would partner with “U Can’t Touch This” by MC Hammer and “Nothing Compares 2 U” by Sinead O’ Connor. Let’s leave the tough subjects to Springsteen, Sting and U2.


justin-morganJustin Morgan

Justin Morgan is a comedy nerd & comedian who was initially trained in musical, dramatic and improvisational theatre. He utilizes his education along with a wealth of pop culture knowledge, love of jokes and unique storytelling ability to craft his stand-up act. His peers named him “Best New Comedian” in 2009 and the “Biggest Asset To The Atlanta Comedy Community” two years in a row. Recently he’s stepped away from behind the scenes work to focus on performing after his recent move to New York.