Matt and Nat – Bathroom Story

Matt and Nat are funnier than you and slowly grasping that living with a lady/gent (that you are not sleeping with) makes you realize how much opposite sex really does suck. Pick your side…but if you pick Matt’s you’re wrong. Just saying.

Nat says: It will never cease to amaze me how men conveniently forget how Mother Nature works for the ladies. Now this isn’t a topic women specifically want to elaborate on (as in we never want to fucking talk about it…so stop shoving it in our faces Playtex commercials). However, this is definitely a subject that will be used against men given the right circumstances, i.e. when you turn the light off as I’m going to the bathroom, Matthew.

Side note: Our light switch to the bathroom is outside the door…bullshit…I know.

Any who…every girl knows how “period talk” is the scariest conversation a man (gay or straight) can find himself stuck in.

And we just love to watch you back pedal out of that situation, but wait, you can’t now can you, Matthew? Because your brain has conveniently turned off everything in your body, except for your ability to hear my little lesson on Mother Nature. Ah yes, what a glorious day. When a girl realizes she has become a lady.

So what did you learn today, Matthew, aside from the 28 day cycle? Oh yeah, don’t turn the fucking light off while I’m peeing!

Matt says: I live with a girl. The more I say this to myself, the more I accept it. I live with a girl.

The other day said girl was in the bathroom. She yelled out to me, “Hey will you grab me a tampon?”

“Not happening.”

“Pleeeeeaseeeee!”

“Definitely not.”

I’m not even sure what a tampon looks like. I’ve never even seen one unwrapped. You take the wrapping off right?

I’ve always thought of what a tampon might actually look like, and for some reason a groan tube has always come to mind.

Anyways, I was later punished for not retrieving the tampon with a vicious story that included hand motions and intense facial expressions explaining what happens during a period. You put it at the end of a sentence was not the explanation I received.

I soon found myself in my happy place. I toned out my roommate and pretended that she was describing a magical land, where there were heavy flows of caramel that were soaked up by all of the fresh, homemade ice cream.

My happy place helps me through my day, and in 28 days, I’m sure I’ll be there again.

 

For the record, Matt and Nat are not sleeping together, despite sharing a flat in NYC. But gosh darn it, they would make some cute ass babies.