Navigating The Music Video Landscape
Video: “Dancing In The Streets”
Artist: David Bowie & Mick Jagger
Remember music videos? A now long lost art form thanks to MTV2 programming such as “Jersey Shore,” “16 & Pregnant” and “Teen Mom.” Now – we slink away into the internet searching for our fix. On YouTube lies all of the nostalgia that comes with lip syncing and staring directly into the camera (or away for dramatic effect.) I just so happen to love the bad ones.
Mick Jagger and David Bowie? Sign me up. Two of the kings of rock. I will now live blog my feelings through this musical journey:
Whistling in an empty warehouse. That’s a peculiar beginning.
I now hear Mick and Bowie each calling out different countries names as I watch fast moving feet.
Wait … What … the … FUCK!?
WHAT THE HELL ARE THEY DOING?!
WHAT THE HELL ARE THEY WEARING?!
WHY WAS THAT JUMP IN SLOW MOTION?! IS DAVID BOWING SECRETLY A JUNGLE CAT?!
THIS DANCE IS ABSOLUTELY HORRIFYING!!! IT’S JUST MOVING! IT’S BARELY THAT!!!
WHAT THE HELL IS THE DEAL WITH THE OMINOUS CAR HEADLIGHTS AT THE FAR END OF THE STREETS?! ARE THEY GOING TO KILL ZIGGY STARDUST AND THE JAG-STER?! RUN! RUN YOU IDIOTS RUN!!!
WHO LET THESE TWO LONELY (PROBABLY) GAY SUPERSTARS WALK/DANCE … OKAY FROLIC … THE STREETS ALONE AT NIGHT?!
OH MY GOD. ARE THEY GOING TO MAKE OUT?!?! ARE THEY GOING TO FUCKING MAKE OUT?!? THEY JUST TOUCHED FOREHEADS!!! DO IT! MAKE OUT YOU BONERS!!!
WHO TAUGHT TWO OF THESE SUPER STARS TO DANCE?! MY DAD?!
WHY DID MICK JAGGER JUST STOP PERFORMING IN THE VIDEO TO TAKE A SWIG OF DIET COKE?! THAT HAD TO HAVE BEEN DIET COKE?! IF YOU TRIED TO TELL ME IT WAS A BEER, I WOULDN’T BELIEVE YOU!!! WHY?!
WHO THE FUCK DO THEY THINK THEY ARE FOOLING BY KICKING THEIR FEET AND PUNCHING THEIR HANDS THROUGH A DOORWAY AS THEY TAKE TURNS SINGING A SOLO?!
WHAT IS GOOOOOIIIINGGGGG ONNNNNNNNNN?!?!
THOSE AREN’T THE FUCKING WORDS TO THE SONG! THEY NEVER MENTIONED USSR AND BRAZIL IN THE ORIGINAL!!! THIS ISN’T HEAL THE WORLD YOU DICKS!!! IT’S A SOUL CLASSIC!!! SO MUCH HATE!!! SO MUCH!!!
IT LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE TRIED TO TEACH TWO OLD MEN HOW TO DO THE SWIM! BUT THEN THAT GUY FAILED AND SAID: “HEY GUYS, YOU KNOW WHAT? JUST OPEN YOURSELVES UP FOR RIDICULE!!! SERIOUSLY!!! FUCK IT ALL UP!!! PEOPLE WILL PROBABLY FORGIVE AND FORGET THIS OBVIOUS MISTAKE!!!”
WAIT A MINUTE – THE LAST SHOT OF THIS GODDAMN THING IS A CLOSE UP OF BOTH OF THESE DICKHEAD’S BUTTS?!
WHAT THE FUCK?!
… I probably should watch that again.
Justin Morgan is a comedy nerd & comedian who was initially trained in musical, dramatic and improvisational theatre. He utilizes his education along with a wealth of pop culture knowledge, love of jokes and unique storytelling ability to craft his stand-up act. His peers named him “Best New Comedian” in 2009 and the “Biggest Asset To The Atlanta Comedy Community” two years in a row. Recently he’s stepped away from behind the scenes work to focus on performing after his recent move to New York.