Practical Advice…Learned In A Bathroom: Forest of Nightmares

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Being your average, ordinary everyday bad ass, I have used many a bathroom in my time. Be it for the intricacies of wash closet architecture or for secluded enclaves to woo buck toothed hookers, I’ve enjoyed them all, in one way or another. Though, mostly for pissing, shitting …and prostitutes.

Sometimes, I’ve even enjoyed the pleasantries of an outdoor commode experience and it’s life lessons. It’s a rare but, one that must be done and goes along with being a man of superior stock. One of overwhelming bad assedness, such as myself, must shirk the obligations of pleasuring beautiful women, being admired by common men and punching non-coolness in it’s dick from time to time, in order to maintain a high level of excellence. A short sabbatical into the wilderness is a great venue to flex both my daunting wit and brawn. Plus, women love the shit out of burly, sweaty guys chopping wood…stuff with tents around. It’s why lumberjacks get so much ass. Even the ugly ones.

It was during such an excursion that I learned something peculiar, about both nature and my fellow man—and what an unfeeling bastard he can be. [Read more...]

Matt and Nat – Bathroom Story

Matt and Nat are funnier than you and slowly grasping that living with a lady/gent (that you are not sleeping with) makes you realize how much opposite sex really does suck. Pick your side…but if you pick Matt’s you’re wrong. Just saying.

Nat says: It will never cease to amaze me how men conveniently forget how Mother Nature works for the ladies. Now this isn’t a topic women specifically want to elaborate on (as in we never want to fucking talk about it…so stop shoving it in our faces Playtex commercials). However, this is definitely a subject that will be used against men given the right circumstances, i.e. when you turn the light off as I’m going to the bathroom, Matthew. [Read more...]