Museum of Morgan – Crack Rock

Navigating The Music Video Landscape
Video: “Crack Rock”
Artist: The Dogs
Year: 1990

Remember music videos? A now long lost art form thanks to MTV2 programming such as “Jersey Shore,” “16 & Pregnant” and “Teen Mom.” Now – we slink away into the internet searching for our fix. On YouTube lies all of the nostalgia that comes with lip syncing and staring directly into the camera (or away for dramatic effect.) I just so happen to love the bad ones.

Oh 1990. Why don’t you quit playin’. I know what many of you may be thinking after just 25 seconds of this magical cinematic masterpiece. “This must be some sort of parody song. How can you rant comedically on a parody song?” Well hold tight, there beloved reader. This happens to be … an ACTUAL SONG. No parody about it. A bizarre and disturbing song complete with message and all! But this isn’t “Navigating The Song” landscape, this is “Navigating The Music Video Landscape.” So let’s focus on the matter at hand. The. Awful. Video. It is the single most terrifying memory one could have of their childhood: Being surrounded by children who point and laugh at you.

It’s kind of like having four kids pin you into a corner and shout “You shit your pants!” but you stand your ground and proclaim “I DID NOT! I WOULD NEVER!” only to realize that you had in fact pooped your Bugle Boy’s. Now take all of those emotions and throw in the words “Yo momma!” How does that feel? Yikes, right? The rest of the video consists of shadowy imagery of a young woman stranded on the streets facing dealers, pimps and johns. There’s nothing funny about a young woman getting her hair yanked on as a threat via some hoodlum. Nothing funny about that at all. What does happen to be funny, is that there are members of the hip hop group who perform this hard boiled inner city, tale always watching like peeping toms and giving rhyming commentary. So the thought process is: “Oh shit! This poor lady is gonna get taken advantage of! I had better call the police …


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Museum of Morgan – Dancing In The Streets

Navigating The Music Video Landscape
Video: “Dancing In The Streets”
Artist: David Bowie & Mick Jagger
Year: 1985

 

dancininthestreets

Remember music videos? A now long lost art form thanks to MTV2 programming such as “Jersey Shore,” “16 & Pregnant” and “Teen Mom.” Now – we slink away into the internet searching for our fix. On YouTube lies all of the nostalgia that comes with lip syncing and staring directly into the camera (or away for dramatic effect.) I just so happen to love the bad ones.

Mick Jagger and David Bowie? Sign me up. Two of the kings of rock. I will now live blog my feelings through this musical journey:

Whistling in an empty warehouse. That’s a peculiar beginning.

I now hear Mick and Bowie each calling out different countries names as I watch fast moving feet.

Wait … What … the … FUCK!?

WHAT THE HELL ARE THEY DOING?!

WHAT THE HELL ARE THEY WEARING?!

WHY WAS THAT JUMP IN SLOW MOTION?! IS DAVID BOWING SECRETLY A JUNGLE CAT?! [Read more...]

Museum of Morgan – Lotus Flower

Navigating The Music Video Landscape
Video: “Lotus Flower”
Artist: Radiohead
Year: 2011

 

Thom-lotus-flower funny

Remember music videos? A now long lost art form thanks to MTV2 programming such as “Jersey Shore,” “16 & Pregnant” and “Teen Mom.” Now – we slink away into the internet searching for our fix. On YouTube lies all of the nostalgia that comes with lip syncing and staring directly into the camera (or away for dramatic effect.) I just so happen to love the bad ones.

I remember February 18th, 2011 very clearly.

I woke from my slumber to find that two glorious surprises were waiting for me. It was “Christmas Two! The Sequel!” and it promised to be better faster and more fancy than the original. Not really. But for this dumb Radiohead fan it was. Some people are fans of what my roommate lovingly likes to refer to as “button-pushing drakular music.” Some people are not. I am the former in this category. A Radiohead-ed mega fan. And on February 18th, 2011 the band had not only made their new album available for download (gasp!) but had also released their first official music video in over four years (shock! awe!)

I quickly downloaded the album and saved it for the road trip I was to take within the next hour, and as I waited I got a glimpse of what Thom Yorke had up his sleeves for his legion of followers. Radiohead is notorious for creating thought provoking & mind boggling short films to accompany their musical ventures. This was not what I found. What I found was … fucking … ridiculous. [Read more...]

Funny Hip-Hop Homie Hardcore Boris

hardcore-boris

Comedy music video sensation “Hardcore Boris” is Boris Khaykin. Khaykin’s video/TV credits include Comedy Central, Gawker, Laughspin, High Times, and UCBcomedy.com. He’s performed stand up in numerous festivals and was featured on ‘Live at UCB’ as well as Collegehumor Live (1/26). Hardcore Boris is a frequent guest and contributor at The Chris Gethard Show where he has rapped and once made out with a live dog. In addition to stand up, Boris performs improv and rap with North Coast, raps on The Ride, and runs a blog as ‘The Water Connoisseur.’ [Read more...]

Museum of Morgan – I Can Dream About You

Navigating The Music Video Landscape
Video: “I Can Dream About You”
Artist: Dan Hartman
Year: 1984

 

 Remember music videos? A now long lost art form thanks to MTV2 programming such as “Jersey Shore,” “16 & Pregnant” and “Teen Mom.” Now – we slink away into the internet searching for our fix. On YouTube lies all of the nostalgia that comes with lip syncing and staring directly into the camera (or away for dramatic effect.) I just so happen to love the bad ones.

Now let’s clear the air right off the bat. I LOVE this song. It’s great. It’s the kinda song that I normally kill a bottle or three of sake to while belting it out in private room korean Karaoke. Such a fantastic tune deserves a fantastic music video right? Huh? WRONG. [Read more...]