Population Perspective – Wall Beat Journal

by Natalie Wall

That time has come. The population of Earth reached a staggering 7 billion people last Monday and let’s be honest, we can all agree that that’s 6 billion to many.

While many (white people) see this as a huge success, reality has proven that this number may actual have a grim reality. Natural resource sustainability slowly dwindling in many areas of the world and obstruction of such habitats makes some wonder how many people the world can actually accommodate.

“We have to consume in more sustainable ways, but also we have to produce in more sustainable ways,” said Michael Herrmann, an adviser on population and economics with the UNFPA according to Globalpost.com.

Which leaves Earth with only one real solution: a zombie apocalypse. Not only would the world’s natural habitats be able to thrive once again, but we would no longer have to worry about food production in areas that need it the most. Seeing as we, the human population, would be the most readily available food resource.

Allowing Earth to kill two birds with one stone: saving the worlds natural resources while drastically reducing the world’s unsustainable population. Nature versus nurture. And yes, nature always wins.

Your only real worries now would be staving off the said ravenous zombie apocalypse rather than worrying about the rapid influx of the earth’s dangerously high population count. “We have to change the way we’re consuming and producing,” said Ethiopian Daniel Gad is a former AT&T senior executive in Seattle who returned to his home country in 2003 to invest in local food production, according to Globalpost.com. “The world is reaching limits.”

So, yes. The rumors are true. It is time, world. It is time we start consuming each other.


Hate by Numbers: Afro Bomber – Gladstone

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Imaginary F**king with Megan Lent – Wolverine

Imaginary Fucking with Megan Lent – Part 4 of 4

See part 1 and part 2 and part 3 of this series.

I think everyone has at least one fictional or deceased person who they’d absolutely love to bang. I have many. I know that this is weird concept. I also know that I like it. It’s like vaginas; they look like little aliens, but I still like having one. Of course, for breakfast this morning, I dipped powdered sugar donuts in a Go Girl. Just because I like something, doesn’t make it normal.

I know what you’re thinking. The answer is no. No, I do not want to fuck Hugh Jackman. I do not want to fuck Stan Lee. I want to fuck Wolverine. He has claws for fingers that I think would feel really good skimming my face, and he’d be really useful for slicing the skin of off my apples and the crusts off of my bread. He’s trustworthy and rugged and always saying things like, “I like to smoke and Canada and claws and cool.” I saw Captain America, and Chris Evans was pretty hot (or, at least hot enough for me to have a dream about visiting a Billy Joel-themed amusement park with him and my mother), but no other comic book hero gets me all hot and bothered quite like Wolverine does. I tried to explain this to a male friend once, and he basically told me I was crazy. He later told me he had a childhood infatuation with Mary-Kate and Ashley Olson, which is, actually, the exact same thing.

Think about it: most children who got on the Olson train dismounted after the twins’ finished up their straight-to-VHS series of mysteries and musical beach parties, which ultimately gave way to a very pathetic attempt at an actual film career. Not this guy. No, he followed their careers. He bought hats from their fashion line. He saw New York Minute four times in theatres. The Olson twins had a raw talent, which was simultaneously enhanced and mined by corrupt powers. The only way to achieve their true essence was to destroy their humanity, thus forming strange, otherworldly beings, who were followed and worshipped by the gays, the mentally unstable, and the socially outcast – segments of society usually drawn in by tales of a band of mutants. Wolverine’s pure strength was brought to its highest, adamantium-induced glory, but at the hands of evil scientists, thus turning him into something that was simultaneously the highest form of man and a completely inhuman creature.

In other words, Mary-Kate and Ashley are fucking X-men.

About the Ranter:



Megan Lent

Megan Lent is a wonderfully unsuccessful blogger who likes to whine about literature at http://apostrophetothestars.blogspot.com/, and occasionally contributes to the steamy world of small-press fiction at Metazen and Housefire. She was the 62nd best speller in California in eighth grade, and used to run a brothel out of her parents’ house in Chicago. She lives in LA.

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